The Duggar’s <-- how can you excuse them?

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We all know what happened in the last few days with the Duggar’s and my head is about to explode right off my shoulders over the comments of people who claim to be (my fellow) Christians.

I posted a rant on the FB page of someone I follow after people came running to defend the Duggar’s. The only members of that family who need defending, by the way, are the girls who were sexually molested as children.

This person I follow posted this article –

A Quiverful Of Sh*t: A Guide To The Duggar’s Scary Brand Of Christianity

I read the comments and had to respond. This is my rant to those people who feel the parents were within their right with their response to what their son was caught doing because that’s what they believe as Christian’s.


Can I just say as a Pentecostal Christian I am freaking blown away by the number of people justifying how the Duggar’s dealt with this, how we need to forgive and move on. Seriously, my head could explode. Sexual assault is illegal, pedophiles need to pay for their crimes and get treatment that doesn’t revolve around building a house, the victim is never EVER to be blamed. The victim needs treatment. I wasn’t molested as a child but I was raped at 19 and I am 40 now and just have started working through the trauma in therapy that that caused me.

If this was a well known gay man that this came out about, and he’d sexually assaulted boys as a teenager, the same Christians would not be preaching forgiveness, they’d be burning him at the stake. If this was a well known Muslim person who this came out about the same, Christians who are calling for love and all would be screaming see! We told you how dangerous those people were!

A Christian fell. K. No excuses. He sexually assaulted multiple YOUNG girls as a teenager and it wasn’t a one time thing. This went on for years. The parents did not report it properly and gave their daughters the impression that this was their fault. Be disgusted, PLEASE. The parents failed both the son and the daughters and any other girls he might have got away with doing this to. The son should have been turned into the proper authorities, not a family friend who now is serving time for child pornography. For the love of all that is holy, STOP MAKING EXCUSES, stop justifying it, stop trying to say the family did right by what they believe. Don’t bring up other bad things that have happened in the world to try to make this look better. This is about the Duggar’s and what happened to those girls was atrocious, despicable. Little girls people!

Jesus said it would be better to have a millstone tied around your neck and be thrown into the sea to drown than to hurt one of his little ones (cause them to sin). He more or less said you are better off dead than hurting a child.

Chew on that scripture for a little bit. We are supposed to protect the children, NOT excuse the behavior by other people involved.

This has been driving me crazy since it came out. My supposed fellow Christians defending these actions. Don’t judge unless you are prepared to be judged by the same standard you are holding others to. Guess what, I have never sexually assaulted anyone nor have I hurt a child. I’m going to judge this behavior as sick, disgusting, despicable, illegal, and immoral.

I am a woman who, for my family, embraces tradition roles, I am a stay at home mom, I tend to dress more modestly, etc.  I do not blindly follow what my husband says, we have discussions where we come to agreements (some take longer than others).

That being said I encourage my girls to step outside gender roles, same with my boys, if they want to learn how to sew while their sisters learn how to change the oil in the car, go for it.  I want them to find their place in life and what is good for me may not be what they want to do.

My girls are not taught to blissfully follow a man’s directives, any man.  They are to obey their father, but not if it came to something illegal.  All of my children are taught what inappropriate touches are, to trust their gut when something feels wrong, and never to let some threat scare them into not telling me something.

This whole situation is disgusting.  I cannot believe any of you who claim to be Christians are saying oh it’s normal for a teenage boy… I have a teenage boy, I had brothers who were once teenage boys, I had friends who had brothers who were teenage boys. Molesting your 5 year old sister at 14 or 17 is NOT normal behavior nor is it a simple mistake. A simple mistake is forgetting your homework at school. It is not sticking your hands down your young sister’s underwear.

I saw an excellent comment back to some of the justifiers, people, get your head out of your a$$, it is not a hat.

Something else interesting that I found –

Jim Bob’s platform on his campaign website states that he believes “rape and incest represent heinous crimes and as such should be treated as capital crimes.”

Duggar Dad’s Political Platform: Incest Should Be Punishable by Death

I’m just wondering what that view came from when one decided the proper punishment/treatment for his son was to build a house.

Ok. I’m posting this on my phone because my computer sucks which is why it’s been awhile since there has been a post from me. I’m backing up my computer now (this is taking days) then I’m going to restore it to factory settings and hope that I am back for good. Miss you all!

ETA I want to add that the majority of homeschooling Christians (or not Christians) are not like this. I don’t homeschool (patience is not my finest virtue) but I have many friends who do and they are serious about their children learning, including actively seeking out activities that give their children tons of social interaction.  They aren’t completely sheltered and isolated from society. High five to the parents who are raising some amazing kids this way.

Liked that? Read these:

  • Emily Krat

    Totally agree with you, Heather! Such awful actions should be punished accordingly, not excused.

  • Theresa Trageser Hernandez

    I’m with you, Heather. Nothing they did was okay. Everything from the victim-blaming mindset, as if a child is to blame for her teenage brother’s urges, to trying to cover it up is abhorrent and not the least bit Christian. If they’d just once asked themselves how Jesus would have handled the situation, so much of this could have been avoided. And that doesn’t even begin to go into the exploitation of their children for financial gain with their TV show.