These two girls from Evansdale, Ia who have been missing for a week today have been on my (and everyone else’s) mind a lot. Today this case has been FINALLY called an abduction. Finally. They have decided they aren’t in the lake and they aren’t lost, so now it’s time to set up traffic check points in and out of town. You know, now that there has been time to get these girls out of the country.
I don’t care what they say about guidelines regarding an abduction. These are 8 and 10 year old girls. They don’t have the resources needed to be gone for long. If they were 16, yes, possibly run away. 8 and 10. I asked my 8 year old where she would go if she ran away from home.
The ice cream shop.
That is how an 8 year old thinks.
In the meantime, precious time is fleeing by.
I would be frothing at the mouth by now if these were my girls.
I’ve talked with my kids about what they should do if, God forbid, anyone ever try to take them. We go over it here and there and I thought tonight was an excellent time for a refresher course.
Then I thought I would share with you all. Maybe I covered something that you hadn’t thought of and maybe you have some things you tell your kids that I hadn’t covered with my kids.
They all know to run if they can. These scenarios are if someone gets their hands on them.
If someone tries to take them when they riding their bike:
First and foremost, in any of the situations, start screaming for help. Actually use the word help. If someone hears a kid outside screaming, they might just think that it’s a bunch of kids playing around. Scream help. Someone is less likely to continue trying to take a kid if they are creating a scene then if they are quiet.
Do not let go of the bike. Hold on to it for dear life. It’s much harder to lift a bike and a child into the backseat of a car or a trunk than it is to just throw a child in and go.
If someone tries to take them while walking:
Again, scream help over and over. Drop to the ground as dead weight (like their brother does when he doesn’t want to get in his carseat) and start kicking and flailing your arms. Ever try to pick up a toddler who is throwing a tantrum? It doesn’t get any easier as they get heavier and can fight harder.
If they are with their sibling and someone tries to take their sibling:
Scream for help. Wrap themselves around their sibling, holding on to each other in a tight hug, while doing the drop as dead weight thing.
In the car:
This only applies when my 13 year old is in the car with them. That’s the only time I leave them in the car. Doors are locked. And that’s only at the gas station where I can see and hear. If someone tries to get in the car, lay on the horn and don’t let off. Period.
What happens when you hear a car horn? You look to see what is going on.
The theme here is to create a scene and cause people to look. Someone is less likely to continue on with an abduction if there is a good chance of getting caught right there at the scene.
This includes:
Someone threatening you with a gun, knife, etc.
There is a very small chance they are going to hurt you/kill you in the middle of the street. I don’t care what they threaten you with, make a scene. There’s a much bigger chance they will hurt you once they get you in a car and off somewhere alone.
Someone is threatening to hurt your mom (loved one) if you don’t go.
I’ve taught my kids that this is said just to scare them and get them to go. I can handle myself and dad is not someone I’d want to cross. Do not listen. Scream and run.
Someone tells them I have been hurt.
They know that there are only 3 people I would send to get them in an emergency. That’s it. If its not one of those people, do not go. They also know if I am not picking them up from school or they aren’t riding the bus that I will call the school and tell them exactly what is going on and it always has to do with one of those 3 people.
Who is a stranger?
Someone MOM doesn’t know. I don’t care if someone has met you here or there, tells you it’s ok, if I don’t know them, they are a stranger and you do not go anywhere with them ever.
For my 2 with cell phones.
My oldest 2 have cell phones and a lot of it with me is a safety thing. They know that if, again, God forbid, anyone takes them that they need to turn their phones on silent. If its possible, dial 911 and just let it sit. Start asking where they are going, why did they take them, etc. Even if they can’t call 911 there is a good chance that they can be found using their phones location. Just don’t let the phone be seen or heard.
We went over a bunch of scenarios tonight, each of us asking the other what they would do in the above situations plus:
If someone told them that they had a puppy they could have, just go with them and they’ll get it.
The old candy scenario. Katiana didn’t quite pass because she said she would get the candy and run. No, do not stop and grab the candy. Turn and run.
I was really proud of them, they remembered most of what I had taught them. Besides the abduction of the girls, school is starting shortly, Alyce will be going off to kindergarten, and it’s always a good time to remind them of what to do.
I know I left out a safe word for in case someone needs to pick them up, but we don’t use that. They know that though I do trust my family with my kids, that there are only 3 people who would ever be called in to pick them up. And, even if there was an accident, someone would call the school with the news that so and so would be picking them up or that they need to ride the bus home and we’d take it from there.
I’m trying to think if I have left anything out that we cover, but I think that’s it.
I just pray that it never happens and that if it does they can think quickly and remember what they have learned.
Do you have anything that you teach your kids that I have missed?
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This is heartbreaking. I hope the girls are found safe and sound soon. I have just gone over this with my four-year old trying to let her understand everything. I can’t imagine if it has been me. I really can’t.
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Thank you for stopping by! I know. I can’t imagine what the parents are going through. I think the more we reinforce this with our kids, the more they will be able to think quickly and not freeze if someone tries to take the,.
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Visiting from Saturday Sharefest. This is a phenomenal post! Great tips and reminders. I still cannot believe it took so long to classify this as an abduction.
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Thank you for stopping by! And I know! It literally has made me sick all week that they have been wasting precious time. Yes, checking the lake was important, but these two are gone, where are they? Obviously kids this age aren’t going to go far on their own for long.
found you on SITS, great post, I am rereading,
I tell my 3yr old simpler forms of that, but also that his body ONLY belongs to him. And to always stay where HE can see mommy.
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I am still working on that with my 3 year old. He gets so mad that he can’t go with them on his bike yet. My 13 year old can ride to friends’ houses as long as I know where he is and he has his phone on him. That has just started since we moved back to The smaller town I grew up in with roads that aren’t crazy busy.
My 8 year old can ride to her friend’s house down a few houses and she has a phone too. I’ve gotten some grief for that, but most of it to me is I want to be able to find her at all times if God forbid something happens. She really doesn’t call anyone but her grandma and aunt. it’s my own personal GPS on my kid for $20 a month.
My five year old can only ride to that same friend’s house if her sister or I am with her.
And the three year old goes nowhere without me. LOL
My husband tells me I am overprotective to an extreme but I’d rather be overprotective than have something happen to one of my kids, you know?
I didn’t even think of adding the body parts to this post. Good point! With my kids I’ve taught them up to a certain age that only mom and dad can see their body and only while helping at the toilet or with showering. After they can do that on their own, even we don’t need to see them unless something is wrong. The doctor can too when we are in the room.
Thanks for stopping by!
I think the screaming HELP is the big thing, and tell them NEVER TO DO IT UNNECESSARILY. The reason I say this is as a person who does listen and who is normally home, if we hear a scream (even if it isn’t HELP) we will look out and see where it came from and see if a kid is OK. If kids are constantly screaming like they are hurt, it is like crying wolf and people don’t react at all. I have told different kids in our neighborhood when I have walked and seen if they were alright why not to scream and to only use that piercing scared scream in case of emergency- they actually listened and yell but dont scream.
I also want to say I am from Waterloo – Evansdale is only a couple miles from me, so I am familiar with that area. It has been very very hot here so much so we are in a drought. The girls were riding round Meyers Lake (nothing unusual in that) but where they supposedly were, most likely people couldn’t hear them unless they were outside themselves. The airconditioner/fans running would have made it really tough to hear anything. So your tip about holding onto the bike is really important, also flopping and going dead weight. I really can’t even imagine how/what would cause 2 girls to calmly go, but whatever it was, they are gone
They found the girls’ bikes and I believe one of the girls were carrying a purse and they found that too.(no clue which girl had a purse or if she had a cellphone or not) The lake was nearly drained and divers determined they aren’t in the lake.
I am praying for those girls, hoping they show up soon. No one knows what happened, and the police and FBI have been there since a couple hours after the girls disappeared. They are on the news nightly and there are walks and searches happening every day.
Thank you for updating us! I am just a couple of ours from you, outside Des Moines.
that’s one thing I don’t understand. With 2 girls, how do you take one without the other one running off to get help? It Ames you think it had to be someone they know.
It’s so hard to cover every situation when teaching your kids, but you just hope and pray that they remember what they learned and think fast on their feet.
It seems like you have covered it all. One thing though: screaming HELP can either be a hit or miss, since it’s played around with so frequently. I heard somewhere, and was actually told at one time, to scream FIRE rather than HELP. People are more likely to come running if they hear the word FIRE, as it’s used less often than HELP.