I thought I would update you on how I’m doing since I posted my Getting Some Help post about going to the doctor to get help with my worsening depression.
If you remember, my doctor prescribed Citalopram 20, 1/2 tablet/tablet the first week, 1 tablet/day after that. I’ve read that it takes 30 days for this to build up in your system and start working but I’ve noticed a HUGE difference already. The last 2 days have been so much better for me.
Yesterday, a day that normally would have had me seething? I felt like myself. No stressed out tight feeling in my chest, no wanting to scream a the world, I wasn’t even angry in the tiniest bit.
I had asked Pato to take the letter from the doctor regarding a companion animal up to the office. I should have specified. My own fault. He complained that he didn’t have time to. I didn’t understand because the office is right up the street.
30 minutes after he left I got a call from my doctor’s office. Heather. Your husband just dropped the letter off up here. We’re not quite sure what to do with it. Don’t you need it for you landlord?
Why yes, yes I do.
I wasn’t thrilled to have to go up to the doctor’s office, but I didn’t call him up all ticked off about it. Just packed the kids up and off we went to retrieve it. Then we stopped at the apartment office to drop it off and get new light bulbs for the bathroom. I have 3 burnt out, they only had 2. I need to take those 2 back up there to dispose of before Pato goes dropping 2 mercury containing CF bulbs in the trash.
Then I ran up to Ankeny, not even stressing about directions. (If you know me, you know that going some place new is enough to give me HORRIBLE anxiety. I am really bad with directions.). I picked up the dog sweaters that someone on ReUseIt was giving us for Junie Bee and headed home. The littlest ones and I laid down and took a nap. Then Jordan and Kat got home.
It was another night of fighting and not listening and not cooperating and not wanting to get their chores done.
You know, a normal night for our family.
Normally this would have me on the verge of a stress attack. I’d spend so much time on the porch breathing in and out, in and out. I’d be fighting not to fly off the handle and yell at everyone.
Not last night though. I was calm. Jordan was whining, not wanting to do his chores. But I don’t want to. I didn’t ask you if you wanted to, I told you to do them.
I’m not doing them.
Yes you are and I would suggest you get started now or I’ll start taking things away.
He stomped off to the kitchen yelling about how unfair life is and how I’m just a horrible mother and ya di dah di dah.
I said, doesn’t it feel silly to be screaming at someone who isn’t yelling back?
He said, no.
Kat said, I like happy mommy better than mad mommy.
She’s noticing a difference.
Pato noticed a difference and commented on it the night before last. He was late getting home because the restaurant closed late. He came in spouting off his reasons, getting defensive, on the offensive from my yelling/angry/ticked off attack. I just looked at him.
Aren’t you mad?
Nope.
Why?
I think the pills are working.
Esta bien. (That’s good.)
I think I’m becoming much easier to live with.
My doctor was right. The dose I am on just takes the edge off. I still care about things. Unlike when I was on prozac and I couldn’t care less about anything, much less caring whether I was alive or not. I just don’t feel like I can’t handle it all any more.
So awesome.
Another bonus! I haven’t been taking my diet pills because I’m not sure how they will interact with my medicine, but, I also haven’t been stressed out eating. Between the weight I lost before and not reaching for food when I’m upset, I had to wear a belt the other day with pants that were so tight in the waist I couldn’t hardly breathe just a month and a half ago.
And I am totally stoked. Junie Bee is getting spayed and her shots today. If all goes well for her, she’ll be coming to live with us on Sunday. I am so excited to have her with us!
So, things are going good.
I hope they continue!
Have a wonderful day!
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