Not Everyone's Mama

Oh yes it was.

First, warning.  Talking about an adult product.  Not using it.  Just getting it.

Pato bought some K-Y Warming Gel the other day.  I said that’s not the kind I wanted to try.  I wanted to try K-Y Intense. 

We had lava rock that needed to be returned to Wal-Mart.  When we bought the new grill I asked the lady, how many bags of rock do we need?  Should I get 2?  She said, you can always return one if you don’t need it.  Turns out we didn’t need either of them.  Our grill doesn’t use that.  So, I took that and the wrong K-Y back to Wal-Mart. 

Standing at the customer service counter, the lady returns the lava rock then scans the warming gel.  We don’t sell this.  Huh?  I called Pato and he had gotten it at Hy-Vee.  He said he told me to return it there.  I didn’t hear that.  That was embarrassing enough. 

I go off and grab the Intense.  It’s the only thing I am checking out with.  I picked out a nice older lady, cuz you know I don’t want a teenager knowing that I have a sex life.  The stork brought my 4 kids.  I didn’t actually have my 4 kids with me, thank goodness.

Everything proceeds as normal.  She hands me my change.  I said, thank you!  Good night.

She said, “and yooooooouuu have a goood night!” and WINKED at me.  WINKED!  I started blushing so hard.  I could feel my cheeks burning all the way to the front door where the elderly gentleman greeter said, “Have a good night!”.  Dying.  Did she call ahead on your walkie talkie and tell you what I bought?  Thank you.  Have a good night too.

I should have gotten a life insurance quote because I just about died of embarrassment.  I am so funny I slay myself. Ok, maybe not.  Back to the story.

Get home.  Tell Pato about it.  He’s rolling.  He said, well return the other to Hy-Vee.  If you think I’m taking this back to Hy-Vee after the Wal-Mart experience, you’ve done lost your mind.  Thank you very much.

He opened up the K-Y Intense to look at it.  We both were shocked that it was the size of a breath freshening spray.  Teeny tiny for $23.99.  Dang thing better work good.  Then he proceeds to READ me the instructions.  OUTLOUD.  Stop!  Just stop.  I don’t need an anatomy lesson.  Though if I did, there was a visual on the instructions.  More blushing for me.

I’m a tad shy.  Ok, I’m a lot shy.  When it comes to that stuff.  Please don’t read me the instructions.  I said, how about you figure out what to do with it and it’ll be a surprise for me.

A little reflection while I’m writing this post, I just might be a little bit of a prude.  I tend to color it shy.  Doesn’t sound so bad.

Not a review post, so I’ll just say, it worked ok.  Not mind-blowing.  Not worth the $23.99 for the bottle exciting.  I wouldn’t say it heightened it so much as it quickened it.  Quickened it so much Pato said it was media sucky. Thanks honey!  (If you’re interested in it, I found K-Y Intense for $10.56.  Now it might have been $10.56 good.)  I will say, I like the K-Y Yours + Mine much better.  And it’s cheaper at Wal-Mart by about $10.  Though, it’s more expensive on Amazon.

Back to the cleaning of the room saga.  Finished up Jordan’s room yesterday morning.  Between Mon & Tues, I took 6 garbage bags of stuff out of his room, either for donation or trash.  On the plus side, his room is spotless.

Then I moved on to the girls’ room.  They had 3 – count them 1.2.3. overflowing toy boxes between the 2 of them.  I got down to business.  They now have 1 toy box and 1 – 3 drawer storage thing that I keep their Barbies, Littlest Pet Shop, Polly Pocket, etc in.  (All those small things that tend to sink to the bottom of a toy box never to be seen again.)  I need to get some more gallon size baggies because I’d like to separate those things like I did in Jordan’s room.  Polly Pockets in one, Kelly dolls in another, Littlest Pet Shops in another. 

All in all Kat and Alyce had 6 garbage bags go out of their room also. 

7 hours after I started I was done with both rooms and everything is spotless.  All broken toys and toys that haven’t been played with in a long time are gone.  I feel lighter.  Kids aren’t so happy.  I say they will get over it.  Or as my mama says, they’ll get glad in the same pants they got mad in.  Maybe not?  They changed clothes since yesterday.

Jordan – MOOOOM, I need *insert name of some toy, broken or not. 

Me – you don’t need anything but food and shelter.  Everything else is negotiable.  Sorry dude.

Today I have to go get my IUD checked at 10:15 then I am planning on tackling my room.  It’s a mess too. From my children bringing whatever they want in there and just dropping it wherever.  Pato has been told he is going to deep clean the kitchen today since I have been busting my butt getting the other stuff done.

Does this mean I’m spring cleaning? 

Have a great day!

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