Not Everyone's Mama

I was getting the littlest 2 ready for bed last night, lotioning them all up after their showers (Nano’s second of the day *sigh*) when Alyce looks at me and starts to tell me a joke.  Here’s how it went:

Alyce: Mama, knock knock

Me: Whose there?

Alyce: Banana

(you think you know where this is going, I thought I did too.)

Me: Banana who?
Alyce: Banana! You didn’t say or-raange.

Me: (silence for a moment) then I started cracking up.  I think I prefer the 3 year olds’ version to the classic joke over any I have ever heard.

Then Katiana had to tell it to me.

Katiana: Mom, knock knock

Me:  Whose there?

Katiana: Banana

Me: Banana who?

Katiana: Knock knock

Me: Whose there?

Katiana: Banana

Me: Banana who?

repeat that 10 times

Katiana:  Knock knock

Me:  Kata, do not say banana again.

Katiana: Mom!  KNOCK KNOCK!

Me:  WHOSE THERE?

Katiana:  Orange

Me:  Oh thank God.  Orange who?

Katiana: Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again?

Me:  You don’t know how much

Katiana then asked me to tell her one, to which I told her, I already have told you all the ones I know.  She told me she wanted to hear a knock knock joke.  Tell me one.  Pleeeeeeaaaaasssseeee?

Me: Knock Knock

Katiana:  Whose there?

Me: Cash

Katiana:  Cash who?

Me:  I always knew you were a little nut.

Jordan:  Runs in our family.

Nice dude.

Want to know why Nano needed a second shower yesterday?  Because I am brilliant!  Not really.  I made Pato give Christiano a shower before he went to work because Friday night someone had colored on the baby with a red washable marker.  Of course no one will admit to it.  When Pato got home he proceeded to give Nano the same kind of goatee in red crayola washable that Pato has on his face.  He and Alyce were cracking up.  Nice Pato.  Nice.  Here I work so hard to break the kids of the coloring on themselves habit and you just colored on the baby.  Now he needs a shower.  I’ll give him one tomorrow morning.  (It was late and after Christiano got over giggling about daddy drawing on him, he was craaaaaaanky.)  I said do it now, otherwise, I’m going to get red marker all over me when I nurse him.  A goatee on my boob, just what I always wanted.  No you won’t.  Whatever. 

So, I made him throw Nano in yesterday. 

Then, for supper, yes, I went all out.  I was so tired all day because I stayed up until 3 finishing my layouts for the ADSR challenges 5 and 6 then Christiano was up and tossing and turning until 4 and I couldn’t go back to sleep when I got up at 8:30.  I tried to lay down for a nap while Pato was home, but between all 4 children opening (or in Nano’s case) banging on the door, I didn’t get any sleep at all.  By 6:30, I was so dizzy, I wanted to puke and fall over.  I told Pato before he left that one of these days he was going to have to put me in an insane asylum because a person can only go so long without a full night’s sleep and I’ve gone oh, 18 months or so?  Usually getting 1-2 hours in a row, 4-5 hours total a night.  (You all wonder why I take a nap when Christiano and Alyce do, that’s why.  I usually feel like a hamster running on one of those little treadmills, except they can get off, mine just keeps going and going.)

I decided last night was going to be the simplest supper I could come up with besides cold cereal. (I always get in trouble with Pato when we do cold cereal – like it’s good enough for breakfast, but como vas a dar a ellos cereal for supper – how are you going to give them cereal)  Even easier than making cream of mushroom soup because I don’t have to get the whisk out. 

Ramen noodles baby.  Or as we call them at our house, funny noodles.  Cheapest meal you could ever make, I think, with the highest sodium content on the face of the earth.  I add corn, green beans, and eggs, you know, to up the nutritional value. 

Got those made.  Dished them out.  Cut Nano’s into little bits because when Jordan was a baby I heard a tale about a little one dying from eating spaghetti, something about it wrapping around the esophagus (probably an urban legend, but why take chances?)  Then as a treat (to make up for the lame supper) I gave them frozen yogurt.  Well, by the time Nano was done he had ramen noodles in his hair, down his diaper, stuffed into his high chair (making me wish I didn’t have a cloth seat in the high chair) add the stickiness of the frozen yogurt because I let him do it himself.  (You know it’s so important to let a baby explore their food right?  Yeah, I don’t do that with messy foods ever.)  He was gross.  I got him out of the high chair by coming up behind him, grabbing him under the arm pits, and hauling him out.  He’s just dangling.  I yell to Jordan, come help me!  He’s all, I’m not touching him!  I said, just take his diaper off.  So, I hold my dangling baby over the garbage as Jordan attempts to take the diaper off with the tips of 2 fingers.  Woos.

Run to the bathroom so he doesn’t drip noodles all over the carpet.  I stood him on the bathroom floor so I could get the water going and Nano proceeds to touch everything he could get his hands on.  My white toilet lid, the cupboards, the walls.  Threw him and Alyce in the shower, kept the door open while I wiped down everything he touched.  Then got them washed.  Nothing like getting matted ramen noodles out of a baby’s hair.

It was done.  He was happy.  They smelled good.  I love good smelling babies.

I think I would have had less work if I would have made the chicken fried rice I was planning on making in the beginning when you factor in all the baby cleaning.

Have a great day!

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