Not Everyone's Mama

wrapping over 40 presents with a 10 month old trying to “help“?

Not easy.  Pato got home from work at 1 AM last night.  His friend’s car had broken down on the way home and Pato had to swing and grab him and take him home.  I have been complaining nagging politely telling him for awhile that I need the Christmas presents out of the garage.  At 1 AM while I’m tucked nice and warm in my bed he comes banging and clanging into the house with all the presents.  Santa does not make that kind of noise. He’s lucky the kids didn’t all wake up and see the unwrapped presents stacked in my kitchen.

Nano got up though.  And he got to work. While we tried to get to work.

We’d each start wrapping one present and he’d come over to annoy the crap out of me investigate, peering into one side of the unwrapped present as we are taping up the other side.  Trying to stick his nose and his hand inside to get the toy out.

When we’d stretch the paper out, he’d crawl over real fast to sit right in the middle of it.  Looking at us with this big smile as if he was saying, whatcha gonna do now?

Little poo.

He has this one car coming from Christmas that is from the movie Cars.  It makes a LOT of noise.  He was battling me to get that out of the paper until it disappeared completely. Then he sat in the middle of the floor throwing a fit because The King was all wrapped up.  At least I think it’s the king.  I forgot to look at the name.  Who knows, it’s blue.  I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the movie.  For all I know it’s Lightning McQueen……in blue.

He insisted on sitting on the girl’s dolls that they got.  Everytime we went to get one to wrap, Christiano was sitting on it.

Good times, let me tell you.

Now I have a stack of presents to my ceiling behind my bathroom door.  Think the kids will notice?  I normally have a stack of blankets folded behind there.  We don’t have a lot of storage.  Pato stacked all the presents up and then covered them with the blankets.  A stack that used to come up to my knees, now literally towers to the ceiling.

There’s a few big boxes.  Video game rocker chairs for Pato and Jordan, a Disney princess vanity, 2 life size walking dolls I got for $9 each at Walmart, and a Crawl and Go gym for Nano helped make the tower what it is.

They won’t notice the difference.  Until they are out of school.  Only because it’s dark in my room right now.  As soon as it’s light they will be drawn like moths to a flame and I’ll have to resort to threats of Santa picking up those toys and taking them off with him and not leaving any for them.  Yeah, see that Santa lie gets bigger and bigger.  It wouldn’t if they just stay away from the presents!

The Santa lie don’t work on Jordan any more.  He doesn’t believe in Santa now.

Broke my heart.

I got over it because then I had to quickly find new threats because he likes to make little comments to his sisters, instilling doubt in them about Santa.  Dude, you believed in him until you were 9.  Give them the same respect.

I don’t flat out lie to my kids about the existence of Santa.  When asked the age old question, mama, is Santa real?  I respond to, Santa is real to those who believe in him.  That’s not too bad is it?  Well, until you throw in the, mama, how can Santa see all the little kids every where at the same time?  Well, he has this big special telescope in the north pole that let’s him look at everyone, in the houses even to see if you’re being naughty or nice.

I turned Santa into the worlds’ biggest stalker with that jumbo one.

Then there’s the one about why all the presents are in my room if Santa is going to be dropping them off on Christmas Eve.  You see, the elves have so much to do with all the toy making for every kid in the world that they don’t have time to wrap.  So, they drop some off during the day when the kids are at school and all the parents help wrap presents.

And Santa and mama both buy their recycled wrapping paper from Walmart.  That’s why they are exactly the same wrapping paper when the boxes are in my closet to when they are under the tree. Both mama and Santa try to be green.

I’m going to Hell for lying to my children aren’t I?

It’ll be a section that resembles working retail during the holiday hours.  Those were the days.  I’m really glad I don’t have to do a retail job search until all the kids are in school  Then it’ll be back to working those dreaded holiday hours.  I’m babbling.  I’m tired.

Alright, on that note, I have to get my kids on the bus.  Then I’m going back to bed.  We finally were done wrapping at 3:30 AM and I had to get up at 7 with the kids.  Blech.  Nano’s acting like’s tired, so hopefully he’ll go back to sleep.  Have a great day!

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