Way past. My childhood past.
And it makes me wonder why I am so determined that my children have a huge stack of presents under the tree each year. We’re going to self analyze here for a moment.
I had a conversation with my mom, it was last year before Christmas, or maybe the year before, but it popped into my head this morning. We were talking about my incessant need to spoil my kids rotten at Christmas time. That and their birthdays are the only time I worry about stuff (materialistic stuff). I don’t fall into the materialistic hole except for on those occasions. My kids aren’t spoiled unless it’s one of those 2 days. They do hear no a lot throughout the year.
Our conversation went along the lines of, why do you spend so much money on your kids for Christmas? And I thought about it. Because I want them to have more than I did. Because I never want them to feel that feeling that goes along with everyone in your class getting the newest and greatest toys and you…..didn’t.
She asked me, Heather, was it really that bad for you? I think I hurt her feelings.
No, it wasn’t. In fact, looking back, I cherished the presents that even then I know my parents worked hard for. My mom was a stay at home mom when I was younger. (Probably where I get the need to stay home with my kids from.) My dad was a carpenter. Winters were cold. He was laid off a lot when the snow fell. There were 4 of us kids. But my parents worked hard every year, scrimping and saving, my dad doing side jobs, to get us each one very special present and some clothes (usually mittens, sometimes a coat, and there were always a few smaller things). And we loved them.
I told her that. And I asked her, doesn’t every parent want better for their kids. She stopped and thought about the hand me down clothes from her older 2 sisters and understood where I was coming from.
But because of that conversation I vowed, I was going to do better. I was going to put a limit on myself for each kid for Christmas. Last year I failed.
This year I decided along with the limit, I’m not going to buy a bunch of toys with small parts that are going to be scattered around my house and lost after 5 minutes. I wanted things they would cherish and take care of.
I think I’ve done good on that part, minus a set of blocks for Christiano. But, again, I failed on the limit. The older 2 each have a big present. I was going to just get them accessories to the netbooks they are getting and that was it. Then I started worrying that they would be upset that they didn’t have as many presents under the tree as the other two. That they wouldn’t understand that they had less in quantity but the same in value. So, again, the presents started piling up in the garage and in the top of my closet. The funny thing is, I’ve done better this year. They each have 10 or 11 presents. That’s a lot of presents times 4 kids if you think about it. (That really is better for me.) But the point is, I’ve gone over my limit again and I haven’t even started on the stocking stuffers yet.
I look back on my Christmas pasts with love and have wonderful memories. So, why am I so worried that my kids can’t do the same? I don’t think I give them enough credit and I need to start doing that.
I think we need to start volunteering at Christmas time (and all year round) to help those less fortunate than us. I want my kids to know the actual meaning of the season, not just through my words but through my actions. Through their actions. That Christmas isn’t just about presents, receiving and giving (they do love to give almost as much as they love to receive), that even the church service though beautiful, that isn’t what it’s all about. That sitting there listening to someone else and holding a candle, though good for my soul, that isn’t all of what the spirit of Christmas is about. We need to get doing and sharing that spirit with everyone who needs it.
Maybe that would help fill the need that I have to buy buy buy for my kids at Christmas time. Fill the worry that they will be disappointed in their Christmas, that I’ll have let them down. That they will feel like their friends had a better Christmas. I’ve seen the smile on Jordan’s face when he helps other people. I know he would get it.
How do you make the switch? When your kids are used to piles or presents as tall as they are to taking it back to basics, back to what my parents did. A big present and then a few things that were needed, not wanted. See, there I go again, worried that I’ll disappoint my kids.
Their growing up in a time that was different than we grew up in. Everything seems to be about stuff and getting more stuff. The latest and greatest. For us adults, the nicest house, the awesome car, the latest and greatest technology, the huge vacation. It’s not just the kids. (Though, I can never claim to have the nicest house or car. We live in an apartment and I drive a Kia Rondo – which I love, I’m not complaining, just saying.)
I don’t want my life to revolve around stuff. I want my kids to grow up and BE better than me. Not HAVE better than me. I want them to want to help others. Not this attitude of only look out for yourself that seems so prevalent when I look around our world now. I want them to make themselves into the best people they can be.
I need to start changing some of the things I do so that they have a chance at that.
Thanks for reading my self-analysis this morning.
Popularity: 1% [?]
