While I’m sitting here worrying about my son, I wanted to share some positives about him, because
- I need it
- He needs it
- I don’t want anyone to think that all I have is trouble with him
After his appointment yesterday, I spent over an hour on the phone with his guidance counselor at school. I had called to keep her updated, and she called me back to tell me that she is so glad that I did. She had a meeting with Jordan the day before, and usually she feels good with the way their meetings end, and that day she just didn’t feel like Jordan was feeling positive about it. She was going to find him first thing yesterday morning to make sure he was ok and to see if he had any lingering things he wanted to talk to her about.
May I say, Jordan’s guidance counselor is one of the sweetest people in the world. She understands that there are things going on him with him, and she really tries to help. Last year she would have meetings with him once a week for them to get together and chat, play games, and work on his anger management skills. We talked a lot about it yesterday, and we both think it’s a good idea to have them do the same this year, but to work on self esteem issues and see if he can’t start feeling better about himself. That was one of Jordan’s complaints was that he doesn’t get to spend much time with her this year. He really adores her.
When we went to get off the phone she said to me, “Heather, you go tell Jordan that I really missed him today. Tell him that I think he is a very special boy and that he makes my day every time I see him. Tell him that he is a very important part of my day. And Heather, he truly is. When I see his smile coming down the hallway at me, it just warms my heart.” She makes me cry good tears I tell you. She told me that she has talked to his teacher and his teacher feels the same way about him. No one thinks of him as a problem child. He’s a child that has a few problems that need to be worked out.
She is also going to go out at recess for a few days and observe how the other kids are treating Jordan. He was telling me some things that were happening on the playground that weren’t cool. And he had told her the same thing. She was planning on going out anyway, but her talk with me she said reinforced that.
I hope she does do something about it. Our doctor yesterday brought up Iowa’s Anti-Bullying law. And said that if things don’t change for him with help from the school that I need to utilize that.
I am so glad that other adults can see what I can see in my son though. Yes, he has some issues to work out, but he really is such a special kid. He has empathy for others that I don’t see in a lot of people. And he always has. He always wants to help someone he sees hurting, whether it be physically or emotionally.
Along those lines, there isn’t a child on this earth that Jordan doesn’t want to befriend. He wants to be friends with everyone. That’s where it hurts me a lot, because he really goes out of his way to be friends with everyone, and there are a lot of times where that is rejected, and he just keeps trying. Reject me today, I’ll try again tomorrow. LOL But, I hate it when I see other kids treating him like crap when he is just wanting to make new friends.
And honestly, I complain about the kids fighting, but I would say 90% of the time, he truly goes out of his way to be a good brother. Last night, he played with both of the girls for a couple of hours. How many almost 9 year olds want to spend a lot of time playing with a 3 year old and a 13 month old. He does, he loves making forts for them to climb through and sit in and read or just play. Now, the baby drives them both nuts when she starts to dismantle it, but he still includes her in it. I’ve caught him trying to do things with them that do. Play with them the way I do. It’s really neat to sit and watch and listen to him with them.
And those girls adore their brother. Seriously, they can be all ho hum all day. You know, mommy is boring to play with, but Jordan – wait til he walks in the door, the excitement starts! I never had an older brother to look up to. (I’m the oldest) It looks like it can be such fun. LOL
He has this curiosity to figure out how things work. Which when he is dismantling something of mine, really irks me, but is wonderful for him. Down that same path, I think, and I’ve been told by his teachers also, that he really is very smart. That’s what frustrates them and myself the most, is that we know he can do his work, we’ve all seen it. And he can do it easily. (It’s not an issue with the work being to hard. Jordan can rattle off spelling words without a second thought, do math problems in his head, tell me all of these interesting science facts. He loves reading and reads above his grade level – I was in shock when he brought home a Harry Potter book for the first time, not the little ones, the big huge original ones – and he read it without a problem. I had him read some to me, and he breezed right through it I brought home a Hardy Boys book for him from the library, he read it in one night. Then he gave me an overview when I said, you read that in one night???? That he gets from me, might I add! LOL I soak up books. My mom didn’t believe that I read as fast as I did, and I can still finish a Nora Roberts book in a day.)
Are you thinking what I was thinking? That maybe the work is too easy for him and he’s bored? Well, the school said, that though he does do work above his level, it’s not so much above his level that they want to consider putting him in an advance class yet. We must remember too, that Jordan had a year of PreK instead of Kindergarten at 5, because at that point his social skills weren’t where they should have been for a 5 year old. So, he is actually a year older than the other kids in his class. They told me at the beginning of PreK, that with that class, instead of struggling he would be a leader in the class as he got older, and that has been the case. Since we moved into his district, he has been a reading coach to younger kids, (in kindergarten, he was a reading coach to kids in his own class.)
I could go on and on, his smile lights up his face and is just beautiful, his giggle is infectious and can have everyone in the house giggling after him. He has a brilliant imagination, an inquisitiveness that makes me smile and makes me proud. He’s really a great kid.
And that is why I’m so worried about him right now. With the things he’s showing me lately, I’m worried that some of those qualities are going to get squashed. That he’s going to lose that love of people, love of learning. I don’t want his spirit and his joy to be squashed. He really is just a beautiful child. And I hope getting him to this lady, getting him to open up, helping him learn coping skills will keep him growing and shining, versus becoming angry and bitter like I’ve seen many other kids do when they are in a situation that he is in. I know he can overcome this, I know he can.
Alright, see now, I’ve focused on Jordan, and I feel like I need to focus on each of the girls another day. LOL They are beautiful kids in their own ways. And may I say, all 3 of my children have beautiful smiles and infectious giggles.
)
Ok, I’ve written another novel, but this one has left some happy tears in my eyes, reminded me that I do have a wonderful son, and kind of gave me some hope. Thank you if you read it.
Have a beautiful day and go give your kids some love!

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