The 24/7 Mom

How many of your schools take part in Box Tops For Education?  I also know that I am horrible about remembering to snag the Box Top.  I do remember a lot, but sometimes the kids get on me.  (They know all about Box Tops For Education.)

Box Tops For Education has a new program called My Class Essentials.  I think this is so cool!

What is My Class Essentials? It’s a free teacher registry that allows K-8 teachers to create a list of all the supplies their classroom needs, similar to a baby or bridal registry. Parents, friends and supporters can then view and purchase items off of their registry for the classroom or make a cash donation to the registry. The classroom benefits by getting 100% of the purchase and the school benefits by getting a 2% donation on every purchase.

Why My Class Essentials? K-8 teachers spend, on average, $475 annually out of pocket to supplement their classroom needs. My Class Essentials helps our teachers, our classrooms and of course helps to ensure our kids receive a healthy learning environment.

Can you imagine?  How many other jobs do people take money out of their own pocket to help others?  (I know there are some, but most jobs you are keeping track via expense reports and you track every penny.)  Yet teachers spend a good deal of their own money buying things for educational use in the classrooms and I’ve heard of many teachers who at the beginning of the year have stocked up on school supplies for those children who either can’t afford them or who simply forgot.  Every year you’ll see me post a huge gripe at school supply time because of the amount of things the kids need – 15 glue sticks?  For what?  I honestly don’t mind because I know, especially in the younger grades, those are considered community items and the kids share them.  If we didn’t supply them our teachers would be taken that out of their own pocket to buy.

In a typical situation who spends more time with our kids than us?  There teacher.  They should have every tool that they need at their fingertips to teach our children. 

If you don’t know what products are participating in the Box Tops For Education program, you can go grab the list here.

You can also stay connected with Box Tops For Education by becoming a fan on Facebook and following them on Twitter.

FTC Disclosure – I did not receive anything for this post.  Box Tops For Education is a great service to our schools and I wanted to update my readers on their new program, My Class Essentials.

Prima Princessa presents Swan Lake

Put your dancing shoes on, and enjoy the show! Prima Princessa features the world-renowned Paris Opera Ballet performing exerpts from Swan Lake, narrated by the adorable Prima Princessa, herself! Between acts Prima Princessa guides you through ballet steps performed by School of American Ballet students so you can become a Prima Princessa ballerina too!

The girls and I had a chance to review Prima Princessa presents Swan Lake and we loved it!  The girls put it in all the time.  They both stand in front of the TV and try to do the moves both with the ballet company and with the little girls. 

You can watch a trailer of Prima Princessa on their website. 

Pato and I keep talking about getting the girls in ballet and I’m still not sure about Katiana, she really loves her soccer and I’m not huge on running 4 kids all over to 50,000 activities every week.  But Alyce, Alyce loves dance.  Kat really really likes this DVD but Alyce, she loves it.  She puts her all into doing the moves.  She kind of reminds me of myself at that age.  Ok, so I don’t remember 3, but I totally remember ballet and how much I loved it.  Anything to do with music I loved and she seems to be my one who follows in my musical footsteps.  It makes me happy.

Both of the girls really liked the parts where the little girls came out to dance with them and I (and Jordan even) liked how Prima Princessa told the story of Swan Lake along with the dancers.  Ballet can be hard to interpret for us adults at times, having someone explain it to the little ones made the experience even more fun.

I am definitely going to grab the other Prima Princessa DVD: Prima Princessa presents The Nutcracker for the girls.  I know they would both love it and I want to encourage Alyce’s love of dance that she is beginning to show.

You can buy each of the DVDs on Amazon and at Target.  Here are the links to Amazon –

Prima Princessa presents Swan Lake

Prima Princessa presents The Nutcracker

Guess how much they cost on Amazon?  $6.99! 

You really should check out the  website also!  So much neat stuff over there.  Prima Princessa’s Ballet Book, coloring pages, a ballet dictionary, teacher’s guide,   and of course the TutuZone Blog!  Plus read what other mom’s are saying and check out the cute pictures!  Both of my girls shied away from their dancing as soon as I got the camera out.   They just stood there looking like goobers. 

Prima Princessa gets a graceful

from me for being a fun DVD that teaches them about ballet and gets them moving for an insanely low price!

I would love to thank the people behind Prima Princessa who have offered up a copy of Prima Princessa presents Swan Lake to one of my blog readers!  They are so fabulous!

MAIN ENTRY:

Go over to Prima Princessa’s website and tell me something you enjoyed over there.

MAKE SURE YOU DO THE MAIN ENTRY BEFORE ANY OF THE EXTRA ENTRIES! THANKS!

EXTRA ENTRIES:

• - Sign up for Prima Princessa’s newsletter
• - Subscribe to my blog via email or reader
• - Follow me on Twitter (either @HeatherM74 or @GiveawayChick – you’ll get all the giveaways from other bloggers that I enter on @GiveawayChick, either one is fine.)
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Enter to win Prima Princessa presents Swan Lake from #HeatherM74 http://bit.ly/dznxfH ends 4/5 please RT! #Giveaway

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• - Check out this post for 3 extra entries on all of my giveaways through April 1!

Please leave a separate comment for each entry.

Giveaway ends on 4/5/10 at 11:59 PM CST. Only US entries. Winners will be chosen by random number generator. Winners will be emailed and must respond within 48 hours or an alternate winner will be chosen.

Thank you to Prima Princessa for providing me with a copy of Prima Princessa presents Swan Lake to review!

I almost named this post “My Children Have Met Their Match”.  Before I get all excited about the Hoover Floormate, let me give you the company description about it.

• The first vac-wash-dry cleaning system specially designed to clean most hard-floor surfaces. Switching between cleaning options is a snap with the EZ Select dial
• Exclusive SpinScrub Brushes
• The first vac-wash-dry cleaning system specially designed to clean most hard-floor surfaces
• Fingertip Trigger Control – lets you control where, when and how much cleaning solution you apply
• Folding handle – for easy assembly and compact storage
• Dual tank design separates the cleaning solution and pick-up so you never put dirty water back on your floor
• Includes specially formulated Hoover Grout and Hoover Floor-to-Floor cleaning solutions
• 13" removable nozzle helps you finish the job quickly and clean up easily

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Hoover Floormate.  Totally my new favorite house cleaning tool!  My children have put this to the test many times since I got it.  Everyday I use the vacuum part to do the basic cleaning of the floor and every other day I’ve been scrubbing the floor.  The first day I used it (Pato beat me to it the first time period), the kitchen floor was bad.  I mean bad.  The night before not only had cereal been spilled on the floor (with milk – Alyce helped herself, Nano pulled it down, Kat used a towel to dry clean it up.) then Katiana spilled her entire glass of orange soda in another part of the kitchen – and cleaned it up with a dry towel.  Then Jordan knocked over apple juice.  At that point I was so tired I said, it’s dry at least, I’ll scrub it in the morning.  In the morning it was sticky and gross and had dirt marks on it from where Pato dragged in snow and slush and crud.  I got out the Hoover Floormate and went to work.  First Jordan and I removed all the chairs, the high chair, garbage can, everything.  Then I vacuumed the floor and it did really good.  I was impressed because many hard floor vacuums I have tried spit stuff out back at you.

Then I followed the instructions and filled the top tank with water and the cleaning solution.  Time to go.  As I’m stick stick sticking across my floor.  My floor was heavily soiled at this point.  I had to go slow like a steam cleaner on your carpets but the Hoover Floormate made my floor clean enough that if I just hadn’t cleaned my floor, I would have eaten off the darn thing. 

Normally when I use the mop and bucket method I have to do it twice.  Once to scrub with PineSol and water, then I dump it out and start all over again.  Mopping it all over with clean water.  It still has a filmy feel to it and my floor seems to get dirty again really really fast.  Not with the Hoover Floormate.  First, can I tell you how amazing it was to scrub the whole thing and for it to be dry as I was going?  Yep, it dries too.  Just flip the switch over to dry, go over the wet part a couple of times, dry.  Usually I have to pile chairs in front of the entryway because it’s a safety issue when you have kids and a wet floor.  Both Alyce and Christiano fall right on their butt.  Plus then I have to go over the floor again if someone makes footprints.

The Hoover Floormate took me about the same amount of time (with the floor being disgusting) as it does for me to mop twice because I was going really slow.  On a normal day it takes me less time because I don’t have to go quite as slow getting sticky cereal milk off my kitchen floor.  My back didn’t hurt when I was done.  And it was clean clean clean.  I felt good about Nano crawling across it.  (He doesn’t crawl as a rule anymore, but he does chase his cars around the house on hands and knees.)

I’ve got linolium in my kitchen and both bathrooms (and Jordan is not very good in the bathroom if you get my drift).  Jordan’s bathroom disgusts me with a mop.  I’m afraid I’m going to touch the water.  Ew.  This helped out in there too.  Jordan’s bathroom felt good to step on and smelled good too!  Something I have to do a few times with a mop and a bucket and TONS of PineSol.

I’m giving the Hoover Floormate a big huge fat

Actually, if I had made a graphic with 2 thumbs up they would totally have gotten that just for saving me some back pain!

You want one don’t you?  I’ve got one for you.  Well, I can’t tell all the credit, the nice people at Hoover have one for you!

MAIN ENTRY:

Go over to Hoover and tell me another product of theirs your lusting after.  I’ll tell you what I want.  I want the

Platinum Cyclonic Bagless Canister.

MAKE SURE YOU DO THE MAIN ENTRY BEFORE ANY OF THE EXTRA ENTRIES! THANKS!

EXTRA ENTRIES:

• - Become a fan of Hoover on Facebook
• - Subscribe to my blog via email or reader
• - Follow me on Twitter (either @HeatherM74 or @GiveawayChick – you’ll get all the giveaways from other bloggers that I enter on @GiveawayChick, either one is fine.)
• - Tweet this giveaway (1X/day)

Enter to win a Hoover Floormate from #HeatherM74 http://bit.ly/bkVNje ends 4/9 please RT! #Giveaway

• - Follow me via Google Friend connect
• - add my button to your blog (the 24/7 mom one on the right side)
• - comment on one of my other posts
• - blog about this giveaway with a link back to this post.
• - Digg, StumbleUpon, or any other social networking bookmark this giveaway.  (Not my site, the post.) There are links after each post.
• - Check out this post for 3 extra entries on all of my giveaways through April 1!

Please leave a separate comment for each entry.

Giveaway ends on 4/9/10 at 11:59 PM CST. Only US entries. Winners will be chosen by random number generator. Winners will be emailed and must respond within 48 hours or an alternate winner will be chosen.

Thank you to Hoover for providing me with a Hoover Floormate to review!

Pato got off early.  He called and asked if I wanted to go out to eat.  Of course I did.  I got all the kids ready.  Put some extra effort into myself.  I wore this pair of pants I got thrifting, they are gray with alternating really thin black and silver pin stripes.  I wore a camelish color silk – do you call it a shell?  Pato bought it for me like 3 years ago and I’ve never had anything that I thought to wear it with.  Meaning, I never wore it.  Pulled it out. (Isn’t it good that I never throw anything away?)  Then wore a black cardigan-y sweater over that.  Is it a cardigan if it doesn’t have buttons?  Just a piece of yarn at the top that you tie together?  And bottomed that off with my new off white grandma shoes as I call them.

This is the video I used for my hair.  I saw it awhile ago and while I was doing my hair thought I’d give it a go last night.  Loved how it came out!

I actually subscribe to her videos.  I love her tips!

Jordan just said, “Mom, why are you always looking at those hair things.  It’s just nuts.”

We went to On The Border.

So, let’s talk about what went right before we talk about what went wrong.

First, Pato just about fell over when he saw me.  Estas bien bonita he said.  (Your very pretty.)  He said his first thought was, she’s not wearing the same old clothes.  He told me to go shopping more.  (How many husbands say that to their wives?)  In fact, he agreed with my plan to make a road trip to Ames to go thrifting.  He told me there was a difference in the way I carried myself.  I told him when you feel good about yourself you act differently.  I love him.

Second, my children behaved sooooo well.  I was so proud of them.  No one fought.  No one raised their voice above an “indoor voice”.  One was helping the other.  It was really nice.

Third, our waitress was so sweet, especially when she had to deal with the bad things.

On to what went wrong.

1) After we ordered, it took 50 minutes to get our food.  That’s testing the patience of 4 kids and why I was amazed at how well they were behaving.

2) Nano’s quesadilla came with fries.  The waitress and I had just talked about how my kids like rice over fries.  All of them ordered rice with their meals.  The food carrier is all, no, it says quesadilla and fries.  I said, ask our waitress.

3) My food was missing it’s rice and beans.  It came with the enchilada by itself.  I sent that back for rice and beans.

4) Bit into my taco while I was waiting for that, it was ice cold.

5) The clincher – when I got my enchilada back, I took a bite and got stabbed in the roof of my mouth.  Pulled out whatever it was.  It was a chicken bone.  It curved up on the end and that’s the part that stabbed me.

Our waitress was mortified.  I said, you’re fine.  Told her that I’d worked as a waitress for many years and Pato still worked in a restaurant and the wait staff can’t control what comes out of the kitchen. 

She said she was going to talk to the manager and I was kind of surprised that she (the manager) never came over and said anything to us.  But when the bill came it was $21 for the 6 of us.  That was shocking.  The waitress went through the bill apologizing left and right.  We left her a $11 tip. I wasn’t exactly sure what the bill would have been, but usually when we go out it’s around $40 for us, so I figured it off of that. 

I don’t think we’ll go back there because I’m used to Mexican food that has a kick to it.  One of the perks to being married to a Mexican when you adore Mexican food.  The man knows food and knows how to cook so much better than I can.  We usually go to Mexican restaurants that are run by Mexicans for Mexicans.  Lots of flavor, spicy, tacos like you’d find at a street vendor in Guanajuato, salsa that know American restaurant can compare to.  It was just kind of bland to me last night.

Anyone who has eaten in Mexico or at an authentic Mexican restaurant knows what I’m talking about. (Not an authentic restaurant run for Americans by Mexicans , they tone it down a little for us gringos.  They also don’t serve food that you find in the other restaurants.  Things I won’t eat.  IE: Brains, stomach, tongue.  Pato orders tongue tacos all the time.  Makes me want to gag.  The things I do eat though are so good.)   

Here’s a few shots.  I had to work with these a lot.  Every single shot came out blurry.  Need to check my camera settings and see if something got screwed up.  I do have pictures of Jordan and Kat but those are for a review I have coming up.

Nano, cheesing.  I can’t get a picture of him looking normal if he notices that I have the camera.  He scrunches up his nose, squints his eyes shut, throws his head back, and yells cheese!  Ok, no cheese.  He can’t say that yet, but the rest is totally true.

Leecey’s picture was the blurriest of the bunch and she has a mouthful of chips, but she’s still a doll.

My wonderful husband who earned major brownie points last night – not just for noticing the difference in me, but for cumbia dancing with Nano in the entryway of the restaurant as we were leaving and not caring if anybody watched.  Love him!  (Can I say, I used to go out dancing with him and his friend like they are in that video every Saturday night.  Dude, you don’t use it, you lose it.  Or better yet, if your butt gets too big you lose your rhythm.  At least I did.  I need to start again, I miss dancing.)

Pato thought since I was taking pictures of everyone that we needed one of me.  Not my favorite, but it’ll do.

Got to get more coffee because I have to show you the things I picked out with a gift certificate I won.  This is a long post.

Miss me?  I’m better now.

I entered a giveaway on AlphaBetaChic’s blog and won a $30 GC to CuteAbility’s Etsy store.

Cute is right!  This what I picked out –

Eiffel Tower City Of Lights Gold Filled Earrings

Fairy Dust Bottle Necklace

Goldfish Bowl Earrings

I went over the $30 and she let me Paypal her the rest.  I got those goldfish bowl earrings for Katiana’s birthday (I think – I kind of like them too.  Bad mommy!)  I might let her wear the fairy dust necklace sometimes, but that’s mine.  And the earrings I’ve been drooling over since I saw her Etsy store.

I’ve gotten into wearing fun jewelry lately.  Way back when I managed the jewelry store after my divorce, I got into this habit of everything needing to be pure gold and only I don’t want to say serious, but kind of that, serious pieces.  Things you’d find in an upper end jewelry store. 

I’m past that.  I still wear my gold on my fingers, but I’ve been getting fun earrings and necklaces to accessorize with and I’m realizing that I was missing out on a whole world of fun by not paying attention to this stuff before.  If I want to wear goldfish or ladybugs in my ears and fairy dust around my neck, I will. 

I’ve got to go draw the Slanket winners and see if there are any more giveaways that have come to an end, plus redraw for the Kool Kids Legs because only one of my winners responded.  

Have a great day!

I’m off again.  I should call this project 52.

I looked, I’m on Day 66.  That’s my mojito.  Some people might take a picture of it before they drank part of it.  Not me.  Cuz I didn’t think about it until it was half gone.

This is not my giveaway, but Cathy Liggett’s.  You know I absolutely loved the book from my review you can read here.  I received an email update from her about it and thought I’d pass it on to the rest of you fabulous ladies.  You can win a copy of Beaded Hope and this gorgeous bracelet!  It’s a very simple, just enter your name and email address to put your name in the drawing.

Good luck!

I just received this great article, which is so in touch with my last 2 posts and how I feel about myself.  I thought it would be a great read for anyone who has problems with themselves.

Ten Tips that Will Change How You Look and Feel About Beauty
By Vivian Diller Ph.D. with Jill Muir-Sukenick Ph.D., edited by Michele Willens,
Authors of Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change

Face it: there is no magic solution to aging with grace and dignity. Having just written a book offering guidance to millions of women who feel trapped by conflicting feelings, we think we are on to something. We have found satisfying, long term solutions that help us deal with a culture that virtually programs women to have a crisis over their aging appearance. We were once professional models, so we were made acutely aware how quickly a premium on physical beauty can fade with age. It took hard work and time, but we learned the secret of how to enjoy our changing appearance. Now we are therapists treating hundreds of women who may be fulfilled and evolved in many ways, but are still having difficulty coming to terms with the lines of time. Here are some great psychological tips we tell women to "think" about that help them change the way they "feel" and "look." They worked for us. They can work for you!

1) Beauty is not just a physical experience, but a psychological one as well. We all tend to think of beauty as a skin-deep issue, all about how we physically look. But research tells us that perception of what is deemed attractive and unattractive is much more complicated. Why do you think some beautiful women say, "I’ve never thought I was pretty"? Yes, even beauties like Uma Thurman and Michelle Pfeiffer have drawn attention to what they consider flaws. Similarly, there are women who may not be your typical image of beauty, yet when you ask them they say they are quite confident in their looks. Serena Williams never tries to cover up her unconventionally muscular physique: in fact, she flaunts it and somehow it makes her more appealing. What makes people feel attractive goes well beyond our physical self. It runs deep, much deeper than the eye can see.

2) Although we can’t stop the physical changes of aging, we can change our experience of aging. No one, not any doctor, dermatologist or surgeon can stop physical changes of aging. There may be ways to look better, take care of your skin and bodies that put things temporarily on hold, at least on the surface. We’re all for that! We’re also for ways we can experience — and even enjoy — our changing looks. If we take care of ourselves, it makes us feel better and we smile more. When we smile, we look more attractive. The sooner we go through an interior process, (we offer six steps in our book) the better you will feel inside and out.

3) While aging is inevitable and irreversible, self-image is not. Self-image can be fluid and timeless. Self-image is not an actual still picture of oneself. It is an internal experience, how we see ourselves from within, over time throughout our lives. It’s flexible and malleable. And if we understand that self image is changeable, then that is what we try to help women conquer. Not age itself. That’s a battle we can’t win. 

4) Beauty is in the "I" of the beholder. If we become our own internal "eye," we can take control over how we see ourselves, rather than give it over to other people to determine if we’re attractive or not. Our six steps serve to change the internal lens through which we see, not only ourselves, but others as well. The result? Women will be less self critical and less critical of each other.

5) Chronological age does not have to define you. You can define yourself at your chronological age. A particular age has little to do with how old you feel. You can define how you want to be 40, 50 and onward. We also don’t have to let magazine images define what is beautiful. Some women in their 20’s feel old. Some women in their 60’s feel young.

6) Put your beauty in your identity, not your identity in your beauty. Your identity is made up of many aspects of yourself. How you look is just one of them. As you get older, more aspects of yourself can make up your identity; for example, your experiences in life, your accomplishments and your relationships. If you hold onto youthful beauty as a narrow definition of yourself, you’re especially unlikely to enjoy your looks as you age. You leave out so many other ways to feel good about yourself.

7) Take an honest look at who you are, not what you look like. Mirrors tell only a little of what we really look like. Gaze again and go beyond, past your reflection and see who you are as a person. Think of what you see as only the image of yourself, that informs the world of your physical self. But who you are is more than what they see.

Rob beauty of its power over you. Take back that power and you will feel more beautiful. Our culture has given beauty power over women. We are told who and what is beautiful. We know that youth is beautiful. Most people see babies as beautiful. But grandmothers can be beautiful as well. Some of the most beautiful women in the world are those who smile, engage and appear happy at any age. If you take back the power of what makes you feel attractive, you will become more attractive to yourself and others.

9) Become less afraid of aging and you will look more beautiful. When you see a face that is scared, you would hardly call it beautiful. There is nothing pretty about fear. Women need to accept that aging happens and that becoming more courageous about all aspects of our lives will enhance them . . . and us.

10) Beauty matters to all women, but to those who age beautifully, it matters neither too much nor too little. We all know that a core aspect of our identities is our appearance. No doubt our looks matter. But women who allow beauty to matter, but keep it in balance with all other aspects of their lives, can enjoy their looks at any age.

Bottom line: Dealing with your looks as they inevitably change is a psychological process as well as a physical challenge. Master the first and the second will come with much more joy. When it comes to your face, your body and your aging process, be smart, be thoughtful and you’ll be more beautiful.

© 2010 Vivian Diller Ph.D. with Jill Muir-Sukenick Ph.D., edited by Michele Willens, authors of Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change

Author Bios
Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change by Vivian Diller, Ph.D, with Jill Muir-Sukenick, Ph.D. and edited by Michele Willens is a psychological guide to help women deal with the emotions brought on by their changing appearances. As models turned psychotherapists, Diller and Sukenick have had the opportunity to examine the world of beauty from two very different vantage points. This unique perspective helped them develop a six-step program that begins with recognizing "uh-oh" moments that reveal the reality of changing looks, goes on to identify the masks used to cover deeper issues, defines the role beauty plays in a woman’s life, and ends with bidding adieu to old definitions of beauty so women can enjoy their appearance — at any age!
For more information on the book, authors, and events, please visit http://www.faceitthebook.com or visit their fan page on Facebook.

I received nothing for posting this.  I just felt it was a wonderful article that all of us women could use.  At one point or another we are all too harsh on ourselves and place to much stock in how we look.  (Myself being a major offender of this.)

Yesterday ended up being a great day.  I went to Goodwill in the morning because I’m not sure of where any other thrift stores are.  One of my friends on Facebook told me to go to the Salvation Army in Ames because the college kids throw out a lot of awesome stuff.  I haven’t been to Ames in years.  I think a road trip might be in order.  That is if the college kids have a big ol’ butt like mine.    That was the one thing I had problems with.  I really had to dig to find anything bigger than a size 8 or 10 in the racks.  I was missing the days that I could wear those sizes because there were so many cute cute cute things in those sizes.  I would have spent a lot more if I wore a smaller size. 

I ended up getting 2 pairs of pants, a skirt, a dress, 2 sweaters, 3 shirts, and 2 pairs of shoes for myself.  I got Kat a pair of crocks that look brand new and a pair of Minnetonka moccasins.  They’re red.  She loves them.  I got Alyce a really cute denim Gap jacket.  It flares out at the bottom and at the ends of the sleeves.  I looked for stuff for Jordan and Christiano but there wasn’t anything that caught my eye for them. 

The best find?  A Holly Hobbie doll that looks just like one I had when I was little.  Kat didn’t want it.  I grabbed it anyway – for 99 cents.  So Alyce now has a doll just like the one I had when I was little.  So cute!  It took me back to my childhood for a second when I picked it up.  That was one of my favorite dolls.

Kat bagged for this ugly neon pink/teal lunch box.  After trying to dissuade her I went ahead and got it.  She wants to take cold lunch to school so there ya go.  I told Pato to pick up some stuff to make lunches (sandwich meat, cheese, etc.) after work today.  I’ve got plenty of peanut butter and jelly.  Unfortunately for my kids who love that, nut products aren’t allowed at school.  No peanut butter for you!

After shopping I came home and tried everything on.  One of the skirts I got is a tad snug.  I need to lose a few more pounds in the old tummy area to get that on and look good in it. 

Then I came home, nursed Christiano, and headed off to the casino with my parents.  They won.  I didn’t.  As I was walking out the door I ran into Alex.  A friend of Pato’s who I haven’t seen in a few years.  He asked me if I was pregnant again. (He hasn’t seen me since Pato and I had kids, ya know, when I gained weight, because he isn’t that good of a friend.)  I said, no I’m just fat.  Thanks for that dude.  I was all feeling good because the pants I was wearing were a size smaller than my old size, I was wearing a hoodie over my t-shirt that has a fun story behind it.  I didn’t want to wear any of my coats because the clashed with the pants so I grabbed Jordan’s hoodie that has been hanging in the closet because it’s too small for him to zip it.  I was able to put it on and zip it and have a little room.  (I’ve got a new closet to steal from besides Pato’s now.)  I was feeling good because I’m going down.  Then he asks if I’m pregnant?  Kiss my what?  Couth dude, go buy some.  You wonder why I posted what I did yesterday?  Alex just validated me feeling uncomfortable about myself.

I got home at 10:45 and it was Pato’s turn to go out.  I fought Christiano on going to sleep.  Even with all the lights off he was trying to escape.  I ended up giving up nursing and just kept moving him back up and laying him on the pillow, telling him no every time he moved.  He cried for a little bit, but I just kept rubbing his leg (he giggled when I rubbed his back).  And he finally went to sleep.  That’s the first time he’s ever gone to sleep without being nursed or walked up and down the hallway.  Know what?  He slept all night.  I think I found the trick.  No more nursing to sleep.  I’ll just nurse him then lay him down and put him to sleep. 

Pato rolled in at 4:30 in the morning.  I was expecting it.  I know I lose track of time when I’m sitting there playing.  He didn’t smell like beer so I was good.  That was my one requirement, no drinking and driving.  We had a fight a couple of weeks ago about me going to the casino with my parents when he doesn’t “get” to go to the bar or anything with his friends after work.  I don’t care if you go do something, just don’t drink and drive.  If you and Omar (his best friend) want to drink, do it here so I know no one is driving. 

I guess Omar partook in the drinking of the alcohol quite a bit.  Pato said he would have been home at 3:30 but Omar wouldn’t get out of his car.  He asked me if I remembered the night Omar was going on and on about how much hotter Jacob was than Edward – yes, we sat and argued about it after New Moon came out.  I guess he was way worse than that.  He was just sitting in Pato’s car babblign and Pato had no idea what he was saying.  After he finally got out of the car and Pato was driving home Omar called him with some more incoherent babbling. Pato’s all, dude go to bed.  Sleep it off.  I asked why they kept serving him with how drunk he was.  Pato had no idea.  From my old cocktail waitressing days – it’s against the law to serve someone pass the legal point of intoxication and it’s illegal to serve someone who is visibly intoxicated.  If I know Omar, he was more than visibly intoxicated.  Oh well, as long as he wasn’t driving I guess.  But I worry with how much he drinks he is going to put himself in the hospital or worse one of these days.

I was nice and surprised when Pato hopped out of bed, only pressing the snooze button once, and got ready for work.  On a normal day he hits snooze 10 times (aka past the point I am completely woken up).  I was sure after getting to sleep a little before 5 AM that it would be worse this morning.  That was kind of nice.

This blog post was interrupted by a round of beauty shop.  now the girls and I have the prettiest nails and toe nails.  The smears just add character.

I’m off to get some cleaning done.

You have a great day!

I said yesterday that I was going to tackle #1 on my bucket list today.  Try to explain why it’s there.  You know, blog therapy.   Plus, three of my closest friends in the world have had to deal with my avoidance because of my problem and I’ve explained it to one of them, but never the other 2. Angie, just happened to ask what the heck #1 was about on Facebook because as she said, that’s not like me.  So, Angie, Danielle, and Mashara, this post is for you guys.

#1 was to get over my phobia of going out with friends

I wouldn’t call what I have angoraphobia.  I’m not scared of big places/wide open spaces.  It’s not the place that gives me a panic attack.  It’s more people.  And it’s not their fault.  It’s all on me.

I used to be one of the most social people you would ever meet.  I was outgoing, shy when you first meet me, but still loved to go out and have fun with my friends.  Even after I had Jordan and got a divorce, I still went out with friends.  My habits changed.  I would go to work.  Come home, spend all my time with him until he was asleep, then I would hire a sitter (usually my sister’s husband, who back then was a fellow employee that I had introduced to my sister or his brother or my regular daycare person who watched him when I was at work) who would come over and basically watch TV while Jordan slept so I could go out for a few hours with my friends here and there.

It all started changing when I became a stay at home mom.  So that would be with the birth of Katiana.  It wasn’t too bad though until I had Alyce.  I stopped going as many places with the kids, it was a gradual thing.  I would still take them to parks and soccer practice and all that but I stopped being my social self.  I didn’t notice until I had Christiano how much my change of habit had changed me as a person.  I don’t like it.

If my friends call and ask me if I want to do something, I always have an excuse.  4 kids.  Bring them on over.  I can’t do it.  I’m ok with taking my kids to Wal-Mart by myself, though I don’t relish the thought of doing it, and it has given me a slight panic attack before, but I hate to take them to friends’ houses.  When it comes to the kids I’m always worried about them breaking something, touching something, getting into something if I take my eye off of them for a second.  The whole time we are anywhere I can’t relax, I’m constantly redirecting traffic and I feel so stressed out until we walk back into our own home.  It’s not that their bad.  They usually behave well when we are out.  It’s that I am just horribly paranoid that something will happen.  Ok, so then my friends want to come over here.  Excuses again.  It’s never clean enough, even when I just cleaned everything.  I never see it as good enough.

It all boils down to me.  It’s all because I don’t see myself as good enough.  I know that my friends would never laugh at me.  They are the most wonderful people in the world.  But in my head, I’m not who I was.  I weigh more, I don’t dress as stylish as I used to, I just feel like the whole world is staring at how I’ve changed.  Because you know, my friends were friends with me because I used to be thinner and wore cool clothes right?  And I with them.  See how silly that sounds.  I know in my head I am being stupid when I start stressing out about it. 

It’s not just my friends.  Pato’s friends, who never knew me before we had kids, they invite us to do something.  No, I won’t go.  I’m just not comfortable.  I get so worried and stressed and if I dwell on it to much it really starts to upset me and I would color what happens close to having a panic attack.  Excuse after excuse after excuse.  Pato gets really tired of it.  If I won’t go, he won’t go and that frustrated him.  I tried to explain how I feel at the thought of going somewhere new with people I don’t know (that scares me worse than going with people I do know) and he just doesn’t get it.

The 2 places I feel comfortable?  My mom’s house and the casino – with my mom.  With my mom’s house, it’s not even the house.  It’s in the summertime when I can take the kids out there and sit and talk to my mom and they can just run outside.  I don’t like to take them into the house.  Again, I start redirecting because I know my dad will get upset if they get into something (ie:  the refrigerator – dude, you don’t touch grandpa’s fridge).  Them getting into stuff stresses my dad out, which in turn stresses me out, and I end up leaving because I feel like I’m on pins and needles.  Outside, outside is good. 

The casino doesn’t bother me because I’m with my mom, who I seem to have reattached the umbilical cord to.  Why I don’t worry about my mom laughing at me, I don’t know?  Probably because she’s been with me this whole time and seen me gradual gain/lose/gain weight.  Or just because she’s mom.  Part of the reason that I never moved back to Ohio when Pato wanted us to go because he had a chance to open a restaurant (we all know how that ended, so it was good I didn’t go) was because the thought of leaving my mom, the one person I’m comfortable with, that did give me a panic attack.

I honestly don’t know why I changed.  I think it has something to do with the fact that for the last 6 years I’ve done nothing that hasn’t revolved around my kids.  I stay home with my kids, if I leave, usually it’s for the kids, either to get them something or to take them to soccer, or to the park, or to a school function.  I rarely leave just for me.  That’s why I started going with my mom to the casino every other week or so for a few hours again. To break that cycle and give me a couple of hours to myself.  It’s one of the reasons this morning I’m going to the thrift stores.  To get out, well, I was going to say without kids, but Katiana is begging to go with me. 

The bad part is, I know my friends would never ever judge me.  That’s one of the reasons they are my closest friends in real life.  Because they are so awesome.  They aren’t judgmental, they have been my biggest support system throughout some hard times in my life.  I’ve been friends with Danielle since 7th grade, Angie since 8th grade, and Mashara since Jordan was 18 months old.  I’d include my friend Diane in that group because she is so wonderful too, but she lives in Ohio and doesn’t have to deal with my excuses of why I can’t go out or why I don’t want to have anyone come over here.  They are fabulous women who even though I don’t talk to them much because of my own issues I still consider my best friends.  I know if I called them they’d be there in a minute. 

I’ve posted these pictures before, but in tribute to my favorite ladies on the face of the earth, I’ll post them again.

That’s Mashara and I.

There’s Angie and me, though we both agree, this is not the best picture of us.

There’s Danielle (on my left) and our other friend Cristine and I back in high school.

Ladies, I’m going to link you to this post so maybe you will understand what’s been wrong with me.  It’s not you guys.  I think you are 3 of the most beautiful women in the world and I am so lucky that you have been in my lives.

I need to take steps to get over my issues.  To start getting past the part of me that doesn’t like me.  I miss all 3 of you and I’m grateful that you haven’t given up on me yet.  Love you guys!

ETA – I have 2 giveaways to draw winners for.  I’ve closed them and I’ll draw winners when I get back tonight.  Good luck to all who entered!

Web of Secrets by Ernesto Patino

Some family history is too dangerous to be revealed. Sarah Baker’s search for the truth about her adoption uncovered a tangled web of deadly secrets…

A phone call from a blackmailer turned Sarah’s life upside down. The man claimed to know the circumstances of her illegal adoption thirty years ago. He also revealed some shocking facts about her real parents.

Rather than have the blackmailer go public with the information and risk her husband’s career, she agreed to a one-time payoff. Their situation was far from resolved, and doubts about her heritage put a strain on their once ideal marriage.

Sarah still didn’t have verification of the truth. She needed more details. Were there any brothers or sisters, or other family members nearby? Had the same blackmailer approached them too?

Hiring a Private Investigator seemed the only option, but it meant opening a Pandora’s box. Sarah needed confirmation and closure, and was willing to take the risk. Ex FBI investigator turned P.I. Joe Coopersmith was up to the task, but working on a thirty-year-old mystery wouldn’t be easy.

Joe didn’t realize it might also turn deadly…

I started this book this afternoon and had read all 195 pages by tonight.  Web of Secrets is very fast paced and I couldn’t stop reading.  I laid beside Nano for his whole nap just turning pages becoming more absorbed with Sarah’s story.  There’s a lot of racial issues in this book that I just couldn’t get, meaning I don’t get some people’s ignorance.  When Sarah finds out that she could be part African American her husband tells her to drop it because of what it could do to his career.  Other characters in this book have similar problems with their loved ones (or themselves) not being able to deal with it.  I just don’t get it.  That’s one issue that was on my mind throughout the book.  We’re in the year 2010 and people STILL don’t get it.  Caucasian, Hispanic, African-American, Asian, Native American, we’re all people with the same working parts inside our rainbow of colors on the outside.  I think Ernesto Patino did an excellent job of portraying how ignorant people can be when it comes to issues of race. 

Normally, I’m someone who likes a lot more detail in books I read (you know, the sun was setting like a grand glorious fireball of yellow and burning orange over the gentle turquoise waves of the beautiful sea that lapped at the soft off white sand of the deserted beach.  Ok, I am so not an author, I’ll leave that to them.  That was my own description that I just butchered.) but not having a lot of frivolous detail worked here.  You didn’t miss all those adjectives that I normally love. 

Ernesto Patino worked for 23 years as an FBI agent and now also works as a PI and it shows. I liked how Joe Coopersmith wasn’t always what you thought he’d be.  How he had a softer side that popped out in unexpected situations.

Can’t tell you how it ends, but I didn’t expect that at all.  I was all sure that it was going to be this one way and he totally veered off the other direction and it really worked. 

Take a peak at the first chapter.  He reeled me in from that first moment in Web of Secrets.

It’s a great book that was a lot of fun to read!

Thank you so much to AME, INC. for sending me a copy of Web of Secrets it was a great book!